Worst Show on the Web

"The Worst Show on the Web" had its humble beginnings in the early 20th century with its initial incarnation known as "The Bee's Knees with Harry - the Dapper Darb." This successful coast to coast program, hosted by Harry Duke I (grandfather of Harry, one of the show's current hosts,) went online in June of 1924 when internet radio was in its infancy. It was bested only by the wildly popular "Willy Jenkins is on the Trolley" show, which went online only three weeks earlier. During the early days, finding an internet audience was difficult due to not only the cost of the equipment needed but by the equipment itself. In 1925 your average network routers were liquid-cooled, the size of modern day washing machines, sensitive to humidity and vibration, and required vacuum tubes. Internet radio was only for the wealthy, discerning audience of east coast oligarchs.

The depression of 1929 and maximum baud rates of 4k almost entirely ended the "fad" of online radio. Although the number of broadcasters slightly increased, the number of listeners between 1929 and 1937 fell by almost 64%. "The Bee's Knees" (renamed after an etching scandal stripped Harry of his "dapper" distinction) found a small but faithful audience during this difficult time with ample underwriting from the makers of Salty Chips - the Salty Chip Company (We put the "Yum" in Sodium!). It was not until the famous Hindenburg disaster of 1937 that internet radio came back into its own. On that fateful day, Herb Morrison, broadcasting live during his mildly popular "Herb's Wired Fidelity Free-for-All" show, carried on the short-lived NewJerseyOnlineDotCom (due to extremely basic programming, original web addresses contained no punctuation), described in detail the horrific explosion of the famous German airship. His broadcasts were then picked up by the "mainstream" news agencies around the world. The immediate global nature of internet radio was proven to be the saving grace of the fledgling media.

In 1942, "The Bee's Knees" show became "I've Got a Secret (and If the Government Finds Out, I'm a Dead Man)," a questionably successful program - both in content and wordiness of title - helmed by internet newcomer Theodore Gallahan. Each week, Gallahan addressed various conspiracy theories of the day including the notion that the sinking of the Titanic was in fact faked by a rogue group of French expatriates. Considered by many listeners as too high-brow (and crazy), Gallahan was replaced over the next three years by Aaron Freedman, Jonathan Keats, and Jerrold Scheutze.

In 1945, as American involvement in World War II drew to a close, Scheutze was forced off the air when his Japanese, Italian and German ancestry came into question. Later that year, the show (suffering from the bad press that Schuetze's involvement brought to it) was once again changed, this time to "America's Might" with Robert "Bombs Away" Matthews. For a time he was joined by Marcus Sunny, but Sunny soon turned out to be an unpopular, unproductive and unreliable addition to the show. He was booted from the show after making an appearance while on a three day bender and groping special guest Eleanor Roosevelt. Curiously, Sunny continued to call in until Matthews' departure in late 1968. With Matthews' guidance, "America's Might" went on to become one of the foremost conservative talk programs in the medium and he is still regarded as the "father of internet conservative talk." Rush Limbaugh has called Matthews one of "the foundations upon which his career has been based." In 1968 Mathews left the show (on which he made a "comfortable living... VERY comfortable") and went on to a mildly successful career producing commercial jingles for various handgun manufacturers (for which he had no formal training).

In the mid seventies a wave of internet startups created a financial upturn in the world of internet radio. Internet radio stations were popping up everywhere with a high concentration in the California's "Transistor Valley." It was from here that "Careful Cory's World of Wonder," the show's new title, ushered in not only a lighter, less-conservative era of what would much later become "The Worst Show on the Web,"(with regular segments such as one popular hallmark featuring Cory's feet "Righty" and "Lefty,") but also a time that has come to be known as the "Golden Age of Internet Radio." This lasted from 1978-1996. By the end of the millennium, however, changes in technologies and portability made newer, more agile stations easier to manage. The confusing array of punch-card programming, impossible recording procedures and outdated equipment gave the show its now hallmark name, but originally it was just from a producer's point of view. The beginning of the year 2000 brought with it an urgent system upgrade as all pre-1958 internet hardware components, which were still in use by the show, crashed in the infamous Y2K meltdown. The hardware was just too old to be maintained.

In 2007, the show became the "Tom and Cory show featuring Bob and Mark." Not much is known about the contents of the show at this time except for the fact that listenership had dwindled to two, someone named Tom and someone else named Cory. In mid 2008, Cory (the son of "Careful Cory,") led a hostile takeover of the radio production company which led to the ouster of the show's two hosts - one to never be heard from again. Harry, the great grandson of show originator Harry Duke I, and Kurtis "with a K" Bedford were brought in to helm the program which by this time had been officially given the moniker "The Worst Show on the Web." Cory left the show shortly thereafter at the insistence of his wife and prior to an auditing of the show's financial statements.